Growing up the neighborhood eccentric was a guy named Herb. He wore loud pants (often bought from a yard sale) and would whistle and scat-sing as he strolled by, twirling a golf club modified into a walking stick. Herb always had a dalmatian by his side and usually a handful of redskin peanuts.(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); Herb was the kind of guy who would get up early, take your newspaper while you were asleep, read it, then roll it back up and throw it on your lawn. The neighborhood kids called that “Herbing a paper.” Herb would also park his cars in your driveway when you were out of town. We called that “Herbing a car.” My neighbor here in Oregon is out of town for a bit and asked me to park my car in her driveway to ward off anybody casing the joint. [[link]] Some homes nearby have reported burglaries over the past few months. I told her [[link]] no problem. Herb and his wife, Ann, and their son Peter were the best neighbors a block could ever have. I’m happy to Herb my car and carry on his legacy. Alex, a nine-year-old from Tanzania, explains the story of the greatest movie of all time, Commando starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. “He has the knife. The bomb. The pistol. The gun. The pistol. Everything is ready for fighting.” Memo to Texas. The Onion is satire, not a policy journal. A temporary extension of negotiations averts the lockout of NFL players by their teams, giving hope that the coming season won’t be interrupted or shortened. Study finds that “virginity is [[link]] making a comeback.” I’m sure that video games are somehow to blame.